November 5, 2019

1454 hours | @ Epoch Coffee, North Loop

So, I’ve been meaning to write the last few days. Friday and Saturday I was in a word-producing mood and had a hankering to do some writing but didn’t. When Sunday afternoon rolled in and I woke up around 1 PM after barely sleeping and disoriented courtesy the biannual time-change, I couldn’t get myself grounded or centered” or organized enough to put anything down. Since then, I’ve been fairly thoroughly unmotivated to pursue any significant, lengthy line of ultimately productive literary inquiry.

Fortunately, writers will always tell other writers that one of the things they should be doing when not writing in order to become a decent writers is to read. Read, read, read. I do a lot of that.

For the past year, I’d say my common refrain (there’s a better word for this that I can’t come up with: motto, creed, something) has been: I keep myself busy.

I’m fairly certain I’ve listed my various projects in previous entries. A by-no-means-complete list of things to do from my paper journal is below:

Of course, finding Blot.im and moving all my previous writing (over 1200 individual blog posts in HTML) over from Medium and elsewhere and incorporating a new platform into my existing site at inadequate.net wasn’t on the list until I discovered it yesterday.

Why don’t I write more? (Hint: See the last paragraph and list above.) I’m constantly distracted by other things that need to be done.

I’ve convinced myself, I guess, that most of these projects will lead to more ease and convenience in life. That probably isn’t true. For every lightbulb I connect to a smart” WiFi-enabled outlet, I have to make sure the connection is stable and occasionally reset the network to use my house’s lights.

Part of the issue is that I stumble upon new-to-me platforms, like Blot.im and Atom (which is currently installing behind this text document) and Git and the like, necessitating that I beef up my tech knowledge and skills in order to implement them, oftentimes using Linux, which I also had to figure out (I now have a Raspberry Pi running Raspbian and can use Kali on my personal Windows 10 laptop). Given my (lack of) technical expertise, it takes me hours to accomplish what seem like simple tasks. Alas, for me, they are not. Thus, I spend my time troubleshooting instead of writing.

If you go by the weekly email I receive from Grammarly, though, you’d think I write constantly. The app celebrates my writing so many more — and so many more unique — words each week when, in reality, it’s likely all the San Antonio Review submissions I’ve viewed racking up that word count.

The SAR is its own beast requiring regular feeding of attention, time, money and work: from reviewing submissions to editing them and loading them into WordPress, finding and acquiring art to run with each piece and making sure the submitting authors and artists remain pleased — and that doesn’t even get into the work involved in creating each print issue (compiling pieces, editing again and again, designing the interior and cover and on and on).

1648 hours

I think all the old entries have been uploaded. See what I mean? Things take forever.